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Generous Thai

A farang was standing in a queue to buy a plane ticket back home. Just before he got to the front of the line, he counted his money and realized that he was one baht short. He turned to the Thai standing behind him and asked if he could borrow one baht for his plane ticket home. The Thai dug into his pocket and pulled out a ten baht coin. He handed it to the farang and said, “Here. Take nine of your friends with you, too.”

The Missing Miss

A farang’s in bed with his Thai girlfriend. After having great sex, she spends the next hour just stroking his penis, something she had lovingly done on many occasions. Rather enjoying it, he turns and asks her, 'Why do you love doing that?'
She replies: 'Because I really miss mine'.

Firing Blanks

An 86-year-old man went to his local doctor for his quarterly check up. The doctor, who was an old friend, asked him how he was feeling.

"Never felt better," he said. "I've just come back from Thailand where I met an 18-year-old girl who is now my wife. What's more, she's now pregnant with my child. So what do you think of that?" the old man asked proudly.

The doctor considered his question for a moment and then began to tell a story of his own.

"I have an old friend. He's about your age and an avid hunter. He never misses a season.

One day as he was setting off to go hunting in a bit of a hurry he picked up his walking stick instead of his gun by mistake.

"As he neared a lake, he came across a large, male beaver sitting at the water's edge.

"He realized that he'd left his gun at home so he couldn't shoot this magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his walking stick, took aim and called out "bang, bang"

"Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell down dead.

"So what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.

"If you ask me," began the old man, "someone else must have pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

"Exactly!" smiled the doctor.....

A Joke

Thai: "What do you think of democracy in Thailand?"

Farang: "It's a nice idea, but it'll never work."

An elephant was walking through Khao Yai National Park, feeling bored and trying to avoid tourists. Suddenly he heard a shout, and as he looked down, he saw a cobra stretched out on the path in front of him.

“Hey, watch where you’re going,” said the snake. “You nearly stood on me.”

“I’m sorry,” said the elephant. “I’m just so bored that I wasn’t looking where I was going.”

“You’re bored,” said the snake. “Tell me about it. With all these tourists, I have to go deep into the jungle to get away from them, but then there’s nothing to do here.”

“I’m so fed up. What can we do?” asked the elephant.

“Well,” said the snake, “I have a plan. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and I have made up a new game. Do you want to try it out?”

“Sure,” said the elephant. “What’s it called?”

“Jungle snooker,” said the snake.

“OK. How do we play it?” asked the elephant.

“Well, first we take it in turns to perform a trick, and then we give each other points for the trick,” explained the snake. “If the trick is not very good, we can give a red ball for 1 point, but if the trick is really good, we can give a black ball for seven points.”

“OK,” said the elephant. “You go first.”

With this, the snake took a deep breath, placed his nose on the ground and then flipped up his body and tensed all his muscles so that he was balancing upright on his nose.

“Very impressive,” said the elephant. “I will give you a blue ball and five points for that.”

“Right,” said the snake. It’s your turn now.”

The elephant didn’t know what to do. He thought and thought and then suddenly had an idea.

“Alright, I’m ready,” said the elephant.

He took a deep breath, placed the tip of his trunk on the ground and then flipped up his body and tensed all his muscles so that he was balancing upright on his trunk.

“WOW!” exclaimed the snake. “That was amazing. I will give you a pink ball and six points for that trick.”

The snake knew he had to come up with something special to beat the elephant’s last trick, so he though and thought. Finally, he had an idea.

“Right,” said the snake. “What will you give me if I climb up your ass, crawl through your intestines and then out through your trunk?”

“If you can do that,” said the elephant, “I will give you a black ball, seven points and I’ll concede the game.”

The snake started to relax all his muscles and then he crawled up the elephant’s leg, into his ass and then started to crawl through his intestines. As he got halfway through, the elephant stuck his trunk up his ass and cried out victoriously, “How’s that for a snooker.”

 

Signs of the Thais

Temple, Bangkok:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN EVEN A FOREIGNER IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Hotel bedroom, Thailand:
PLEASE DO NOT BRING SOLICITORS INTO YOUR ROOM.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS


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Have your say...

Robb Kerr
06 Aug 2008, 17:45
Why did the snowman pull down his pants?
He heard that the snow blower was coming.
Joseph
06 Mar 2011, 21:05
a newcomer to Thailand had just checked into his room when a beautiful, sexpot knocked on his door asking if was looking for fun.
"That's what I came to LOS for." he said. "What can you offer?"
"Well, I can give you your best, ever, hand job for B10,000."
"Miss, do I look like a patsy? I know I can more than that for B1000."
"Well, just look at that brand new luxury Mercedes Benz parked outside. I was able to buy that limousine because my hand jobs are so great."
He decided to give it a try and was NOT disappointed. He got a hand job he would be able remember for years to come.
The next night he had the same visitor. "Do you know what 'smoking' is?"
"Yes, I read about that, I like getting smoked."
"Well, I will smoke you for B15,000"
"Come on!" he said, "I could have paid those prices back in Kentucky."
"Well, do you see that glitzy night club down the soi? I bought that by the money I made giving blow jobs."
So, he gave it a try and, sure enough, it was worth every satang!He had the best night's sleep of his life.
The next night, a knock on the door; "Do you feel like a hand job or blow job?"
"I was wondering, what do you charge for full sex?"
"Do you see that 5 star hotel by the beach?"
[now he's get excited with anticipation]
"Don't tell me you are so great at love making you could buy a luxury hotel!?"
That's right", he said, "But as soon as my operations are complete I will putting a down payment on it!"
Mya
06 Jan 2013, 05:39
These are beautiful and it's nice to see them. Out my winodw is very gray sky and cold, cold weather, ugh! The flowers cheered me up, thanks for sharing them!Karen & Gerard Zemeks last blog post..
yzahjdm
09 Jan 2013, 02:39
t22hdB <a href="http://zfmllvrcqkxx.com/">zfmllvrcqkxx</a>
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