THIS WANT YOU WANT. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET!
Culture Shock
Bruce Marshall was born in England but quickly escaped to Australia. After first visiting Thailand in 1991, he was a regular visitor for 15 years, and finally moved here in 2006. Bruce writes candidly for Naked Farang about his travels, observations and experiences in Thailand. Here he shares some cultural insights.
This is what you want, this is what you get! Not only another line taken from a rock song (thanks John Lydon/Rotten), but a state of mind in Thailand. For me it’s actually the beauty of Thai life, never quite knowing what you will get when asking for something!
Over the last 16 years this has been a daily occurrence for me on every visit, and it happens to just about everybody I know. When meeting tourists, I always mention to them that whenever you ask for something, don’t be surprised if something different arrives. Well, for me it’s not a problem. What’s the use in getting angry? If you feel a little frustrated just smile, after all this is the land of smiles, isn’t it? I have often mentioned this to visitors and it baffles me why we foreigners get so wound up over trivialities. From my observation, Thai people really don’t understand the concept of getting angry. To them when you show anger, it just means you’re a crazy person. So should they change? What do you think? Are they wrong, or is it we who expect too much?
Before I go any further, I am the first to admit that I have my little whines about things in Thailand just like the next guy, but I always re-examine myself, and say to myself “practice what you preach”. I feel if you “go with the flow” your Thai experience will generally be a happy one, if not you will just spend your day feeling frustrated, and what’s the use in that? Just think of it as a cultural difference and a learning experience.
An example of this happened to me many years ago. I was staying at the (notorious?) Malaysia Hotel in Bangkok (boy, have I got a few tales to tell about my experiences there!). I was very under the weather with a nasty flu bug, and was feeling pretty sorry for myself. My partner and a Thai guy I was dating (more about that another time) were playing at being carers. Of course I knew at the time that the guys were dying to unload me and get downstairs to the coffee shop to do some serious drinking. My Thai friend asked, “Can I go and get you some food?’, so I said to him, “Yes, four fish cakes will be fine thanks”. With that, off he headed with my partner Brian to the coffee shop. 30 minutes later, room service came knocking on my door with my meal. I was baffled. Why does it need 3 waiters to carry a small meal? Probably because four fish cakes had now become four trays of fish cakes! It would have taken me a week to eat them all. What to do? I paid for the lot and sent them downstairs and they were handed out to the “bar girls” in the coffee shop. Khun Bruce was very popular when I went down there for dinner the next evening. “You are a nice man ka!”
If I do suffer from frustration here in Thailand, it’s more from the comments I hear from or about foreigners. I will give you a couple of examples. The first I heard was told to me by a very well educated Thai woman. We were discussing the differences in our respective cultures and the clashes that can sometimes happen. She mentioned to me that her boss, who is German, gets very frustrated with life here in Thailand. I was intrigued. “Why?” I asked. “Well,” she said, “he hates the way Thai people are non confrontational. The fact that they are never aggressive and have no aggression frustrates him!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. She then asked, “Do you feel that way too?” “Well no, not at all.”
I said to her that I thought that one of the reasons we leave our native countries is to escape aggression and violence. Why would we want to have it here? I said to her that if he craves that kind of behaviour maybe he can find it back in his home country. I know there is far too much of it in mine. Maybe he would be happier living in Sydney!
The second most ridiculous complaint I heard came from an expat British guy who has lived in Bangkok for many years. He said to me one day, “You know what frustrates me most about Thailand?” I had no idea so I thought, “Here goes!” He said, “Oh I hate their names, so hard to remember. Why can’t they have names like us? You know like Peter and Susan. That would make life so much easier.” I mentioned to him that their nick names were usually quite easy to remember, but by now he was on a roll. “No,” he said “I mean those stupid surnames with 15 letters in them. Why can’t they have western surnames like ours? It would make life so much easier.” I smiled sweetly and nodded. This mental giant seemed to have forgotten that we are living in Bangkok NOT Basingstoke! I didn’t waste my breath getting into an argument with him; I just walked away thinking, “Is this what Thais put up with off us daily?”
All I can really say to any farangs who want to holiday or reside here is to remember one important thing, and remember it well. We are GUESTS here; this is not our country. It belongs to someone else so respect Thai people and their lifestyles. These are beautiful warm people. Why on earth would we want them to change? Isn’t that the reason most of us are here in the first place?
Bruce Marshall – October, 2007
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Have your say...
Doc
18 Apr 2008, 09:17
Well good afternoon well it is here in sunny leeds! I totally agree with
you Bruce, people soon forget that they are visiting a country even if they
are an expat and living in thialand or a tourist taking a long vacation as
i have myself. You have to respect the coutry and the people, you are a
guest in there land of smiles.
Before travelling to places like Thialand a good friend of mine Dodger
once told me that you should always try and learn some pleasantries, hello
good bye and numbers ect and for doing this small thing the benifits are
amazing!and you will enjoy your trip far more also you will have made load
more friends by showing a little respect to the people the culture and
there beutifull coutry.
I know things can frustrate people and at first getting into the swing of
things in a country like Thialand and Thai time, you just have to let these
things go over your head and just laugh and thnk well the sun is shinning
and what another good frined once told me "Every days a Bonus"
Lifes to short for petty trivialaties.
I do appologise now for the spelling and the grammar it's never been the
greatest!
Respect
Doc Dun
