MY FRIEND GUAN: IN MEMORIAM
Bruce Marshall was born in England but quickly escaped to Australia. After first visiting Thailand in 1991, he was a regular visitor for 15 years, and finally moved here in 2006. Bruce writes candidly for Naked Farang about his travels, observations and experiences in Thailand. Here he shares his memories of a good friend.
I first met Guan and his partner Geoffrey in about 2000, if my memory is correct, at the “Inquisition” dance party in Sydney. At the time I was with my friend Rod, and we were having an average evening. We met Guan and Geoffrey in the crowd and started chatting and dancing. Rod and I couldn’t believe how friendly these guys were. As happens at dance parties, we were separated, but for some weird reason we kept bumping into Guan and Geoff throughout the night, each time chatting and dancing some more. As the morning arrived, we were separated, as often happens, and thought we would never meet up again.
About a year later, while idling away on the internet I came across a profile on the Gaydar site. I looked closely at the picture, and there they were! The two guys we had met at the dance party the year before. I wasn’t sure who I was sending a message to, Geoffrey or Guan. As it turned out it was Guan and he sent me a reply. He remembered Rod and me and chatted often with me like we were old friends. Guan and I kept this line of communication open for the next few years. On a couple of occasions, Guan and Geoffrey came to Sydney, but due to time restrictions, we never caught up. Yet Guan and I always kept in contact through Gaydar.
In 2005 I was holidaying in Bangkok with my partner Brian. I wandered off to the Patpong area for a drink, and went into The “Happen” Bar (now long gone), and who did I see? Yep, there were Guan and Geoffrey partying and enjoying themselves as they always did. Guan recognized me immediately and we were chatting away again like it had only been a couple of weeks, not years. This was the most endearing character trait of Guan. He seemed to never forget a face, and always would ask after Rod, even though they would never meet again. We promised to keep in contact with each other. I told Guan there was a possibility I would be moving to Bangkok to live. Guan would say to me “don’t forget Singapore is only 2 hours away, come and say ‘hi’ sometime”.
Sure enough, a year later in 2006 I relocated to Thailand. I kept my promise and I feel fortunate that I was able to make it to Singapore for four visits, and on each visit hung out with Guan. We went to restaurants and the gym together, and generally he showed me around. For New Years Eve 2006, Brian and I both made it to Singapore and met up with Guan and Geoffrey. It was just as things had always been – lots of laughter, fun and partying. This is the way I remember Guan.
The last time I saw Guan was May 2007. I was in Singapore renewing my Thai work visa. I had to book out of my hotel in the morning, so being the kind man he was, he allowed me to leave my bags at his place for the day, and let me have a key to his apartment so that I could go to and fro when I felt like it. I had met Guan’s sister on a previous visit, and again I met her. Due to a language barrier, we couldn’t communicate too much, but she was always very kind, offering food and drinks when I arrived.
My last memory of Guan was on that visit in May. He left work early, around midday, so we had a look around some shops in Orchard Road, and then got the MRT back to his place. Even on the train journey he was like Mr. Popularity – lots of guys saying ‘hello’ to him. He would say to me, “Oh, he’s from Bali”, or “Oh, he’s from Taipei”. He had a personality that just attracted people to him.
After we returned to his apartment we had a couple of hours, so we ate takeaway, drank some beer, and chatted about life, the future and where we were in our lives today. He then got out packets and packets of photos and we sat on his bed as he showed me pictures of places he had visited with Geoffrey, and pictures of himself when he was a dashing young man. Of course, he was still handsome anyway. After a while it was time for me to go. I got a cab from his place and said that I was planning to return to Singapore for my 50th birthday, October 15th. Unfortunately, it turned out that I couldn’t muster enough funds for the trip. Guan said it didn’t matter as we would always keep the lines of communication open anyway. This was in August, but Guan passed away suddenly on October 16th that year. He was at home, just back from work and having dinner with his sister. He collapsed and literally dropped dead. His heart had given out. He was 43.
Today, I feel happy to have shared some treasured moments with a great man. If I have any regrets it may have been that I didn’t get to see him enough, but when we did meet it was like we could compact a lifetime of friendship into a few days. How many people do you know who can do that?
Bruce Marshall – January, 2008
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Have your say...
Lewis Lee
13 Jul 2008, 19:00
Guan means a lot to so many people. You would not have belief the amount of
people that showed up at his funeral and how much emotion was in the air.
He is truly a rare gem that graced our lives. He will be sorely missed but
will forever live in our hearts. Thank you for leaving a mark of him on
this site.
